shades behind
[drabble challenge for Rennuian]
"When your dad left, did your mom miss him a lot?"
Al looked at her sharply, but Alicia was still intent upon the card she was decorating. He laid his own pen aside and said, "Some, yes."
"But you and Edward-brother didn't." Alicia picked up a pair of scissors, snpped them in the air a few times before applying it the paper. Carefully, she began trimming off the corners. "Edward-brother doesn't even like mentioning him."
He tried not to wince. "When our father left," he said, trying to find the right words, "our mother was very hurt, even though she tried to be strong for us. Brother never forgave our father for that."
She clipped off the last corner and opened the sheet into the shape of a heart. "I think I understand how he feels."
"But--" Al couldn't help the horrified look he gave her. "Your father loved you so much, Alicia, he'd never--"
"I know." Alicia leaned forward, bent her head a little. "Most of the time, it's okay. We have so many pictures, and Uncle Roy is always saying he never stopped talking about me." Her hands shook a little when she fumbled for glue and glitter. "I just ... don't remember him at all, and Mom always looks so sad that he's not there ..."
Al watched her, silent. How can you hate someone you don't remember? his brother murmured, from memories long distant. I just don't like how Mom always looks so sad when we bring that guy up.
He sighed, then reached out and put a hand over Alicia's.
"I wish I could bring back those memories for you," he said. "If me talking about your father would restore him, you'd never make me stop.
"But I know life doesn't work that way. The dead are better off left undisturbed." He smiled at her sadly, tried to imagine he didn't see a slant to her eyes and mouth that resembled his brother.
Alicia held her ground, but her lower lip shook briefly. "I just--want to remember him." She looked down, at the paper--Happy Mother's Day, it said, in childish clumsy script. "He was supposed to be a good guy, but he made Mama so sad by leaving--Alphonse-brother, you know!"
Al got to his feet and moved to her side, not letting go of her hand. He knelt at her side and hugged her. She didn't outright cry or falter, but did sniffle a lot into his ear. He stroked her hair, made hushing noises.
"I know," he said. "But, Alicia--my father left by choice. Your father would have chosen to stay."
"Yeah," she mumbled, "but I still don't--"
"Shhh," he said. "It's okay."
It's not, she wanted to protest, and found she couldn't say anything. You, and Edward-brother and Uncle Roy and Mama, you all cared so much, and I want to see my daddy as the same person everyone else did--but there's nothing here and all, and Mama always looks so lonely--
With her face buried in Al's neck, Alicia cried.
--end--